i am so tired of waking up without hope.
so tired of fighting one more day...i just want it to end as painless as possible.
i truly don't have the willpower or strength anymore..
In my mind, IMHO, this is one of the strengths of JWN.
Whoever we are, wherever we're coming from, we can be here when we are needed to support our friends.
Offering all support to you now, Loubelle - and to anyone else who needs it but maybe can't ask.
i am so tired of waking up without hope.
so tired of fighting one more day...i just want it to end as painless as possible.
i truly don't have the willpower or strength anymore..
i am so tired of waking up without hope.
so tired of fighting one more day...i just want it to end as painless as possible.
i truly don't have the willpower or strength anymore..
I hope that Loubelle won't mind me posting this on her thread.
I've been asked several times since I've been here on JWN just what my interest is - I never was a dub and I have no family in. I've answered several times - what began (and remains) an academic interest has been rather overtaken by personal concern for many who have suffered so much at the hands of this cult.
I've had the privilege of meeting at least one (former) JWN contributor and, I hope, helping them to assimilate into the normal 'wordly' world.
I see my role (if I have one at all) as being a flawed worldly person who can at least demonstrate that us 'ordinary' people can care for and help others where we can with no need for any sub-dialogue about religion or anything else. Sorry, I don't mean to sound saintly because that's the last thing I am, but I hope you get my meaning. That role may have little or no value, of course. I am not an 'anti-activist'.
As I understand it, JWs are taught that their 'brothers and sisters' will love them and care for them, and that 'worldlies' are evil and won't. Well, my little experience and my time here on JWN has shown that that is just not true.
It is too simplistic, of course, to suggest that all of the problems and issues exJWs face are as a result of them being exJWs. But I have no doubt that the trauma of being a compliant member of a controlling cult, exacerbated by the added trauma of leaving (and all that that brings) can only too often and too easily make these problems and issues worse.
Some/most/all of us have times when we feel low and ask ourselves the usual (mostly negative) questions - yes, if we're honest, even us 'big macho' ex-cops. I can only guess how much worse that must be with the JW baggage added on.
Things can and often do get better. Sometimes the answer is a hug and someone to hold your hand. (Mushy stuff from an ex-cop, but I'm a mushy bloke).
for those of you who have travelled the world over, which country or city will you consider the place to live in the world.
This is a very good question, and I have come to realise that only by living somewhere do you get to see it warts and all.
I lived in Cyprus 2005-2010, and you can get fed up and bored with antiquities, sea, sand, sun and cold beer. (Working on a building site in temperatures of 40/100 + for €25 a day isn't much fun, either).
I am happy with where I live in the UK - a mainly rural county with a beautiful coastline, and I have family here. But I love mainland Europe - the freedom to put the car on a ferry, drive off and turn right for Spain/Portugal, straight on for France, Germany, etc. (I confess to making up 'dream' journeys on my satnav.)
I've only been to the US once, on a case, and spent three weeks there (mostly rural Wisconsin). I liked Madison, WI, (there's reality then there's Madison) and even had a half-formed plan to move there and teach at UW. Didn't come to fruition and probably for the best. IMHO the US can be good if you are youngish, have a good job with medical insurance, and so on.
I once had the chance to go for a secondment job based in Miami as part of a joint FBI team covering the Caribbean. A dream job, perhaps, but the security information about the provided housing for me and my family was rather off-putting.
Like so many things in life, I think, you need enough money to give you choices. Living on an island (e.g. CY) is fine if you can afford to fly out as and when you wish. Living in a country with no NHS is fine if you can afford medical insurance or the bills as they arise. And, if you have family ties it's good to live within reasonable/affordable distance.
I still don't know where I will end up.
i am so tired of waking up without hope.
so tired of fighting one more day...i just want it to end as painless as possible.
i truly don't have the willpower or strength anymore..
Spoken to Lou. She is OK - having a crap day.
I know she appreciates your thoughts.
i am so tired of waking up without hope.
so tired of fighting one more day...i just want it to end as painless as possible.
i truly don't have the willpower or strength anymore..
Lou
Please answer your phone or text me. I am worried, cariad.
'Joe'
i am so tired of waking up without hope.
so tired of fighting one more day...i just want it to end as painless as possible.
i truly don't have the willpower or strength anymore..
LouBelle
You have many, many, friends here and many thinking of you.
Things can get better, and they will!
'Joe'
for those of you who have travelled the world over, which country or city will you consider the place to live in the world.
Bookmarking - but will come back to comment.
as some of you know, i had no job last year, then finally got something in an industry that i know nothing about.
the environment and people haven't been the best, but i had to stick it out and hope that things would improve.
i have kept my eye and ears open for opportunities more in my field of expertise - which is print advertising.. i sent through my cv for a job i saw advertised in the newspaper for an advertising sales rep - applied and now i have an interview to go too tomorrow.. i've learnt not to get my hopes up - i am glad for the interview and i hope it goes well..
Wishing you the very best for this, and for the future.
i just read this bbc article about sharia divorce in cases of domestic violence:.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-22044724.
the issues raised seemed very similar to me to what jws teach about 'scriptural divorce' in these circumstances.. misogynistic (of course), dangerous and despicable..
Well, shamelessly bumping my own thread, I found this an interesting comparison.
'Thinkers' amongst us may find it interesting too.
